re the inclination to choke: i'm not sure i can remember the first time had the desire to choke a partner so i can't say what the original inspiration was. part of it is/was as simple as "another thing to do" in bed that has a relatively soft landing with people. while obviously its not something that should be done without warning, and potentially dangerous if you incorrectly go for the trachea instead of the carotid arteries, its easier to nix it if one person or the other doesn't like it than like...anal.
ideally you already know if someone is into it because they've told you before, either in some pre hook up talking stages or in the moment right before or because they assume you want to do it if you ask them to do it to you first (both work!)
it does seem to be one of those things that's either a hard no or an enthusiastic yes, with not a ton of meh middle ground. i'm sure for a lot of guys there's an "i've seen this in porn" and/or power component. there are also a lot of girls who i have found like it if its done right (anecdotal evidence disclaimer applies). i would say i've always been super conscious about how it toes the line of something dangerous and potentially non consensual if not set up right, so i would understand your point about guys not being into maybe for that reason, but i also can't really ever think of a time a partner has been really into something or really wanted something and i *didn't* want to do it, since their being into it is what makes me into it even if it isn't something i thought i would be into in the first place.
Would it be possible to get a monthly roundup of articles you've written elsewhere?
re the inclination to choke: i'm not sure i can remember the first time had the desire to choke a partner so i can't say what the original inspiration was. part of it is/was as simple as "another thing to do" in bed that has a relatively soft landing with people. while obviously its not something that should be done without warning, and potentially dangerous if you incorrectly go for the trachea instead of the carotid arteries, its easier to nix it if one person or the other doesn't like it than like...anal.
ideally you already know if someone is into it because they've told you before, either in some pre hook up talking stages or in the moment right before or because they assume you want to do it if you ask them to do it to you first (both work!)
it does seem to be one of those things that's either a hard no or an enthusiastic yes, with not a ton of meh middle ground. i'm sure for a lot of guys there's an "i've seen this in porn" and/or power component. there are also a lot of girls who i have found like it if its done right (anecdotal evidence disclaimer applies). i would say i've always been super conscious about how it toes the line of something dangerous and potentially non consensual if not set up right, so i would understand your point about guys not being into maybe for that reason, but i also can't really ever think of a time a partner has been really into something or really wanted something and i *didn't* want to do it, since their being into it is what makes me into it even if it isn't something i thought i would be into in the first place.