The "people have said this about all media in the past" stuff bothers me because unique among all of them the Smart Phone made it easier to access social media and make a virtual reconstruction of "hanging out". Reading a book does not simulate the experience of having a conversation with a group of friends, nor does TV really. The phone does.
The screens ensured that day and night, people hear about “statistics proving that people today had more food, more clothes, better houses, better recreations—that they lived longer, worked shorter hours, were bigger, healthier, stronger, happier, more intelligent, better educated, than the people of fifty years ago.” - This was something that I read from a 1984 book analysis on the telescreen. I’ve been saying since 2018 ish, something is off. Perhaps it’s been longer, maybe it was more subtle I just didn’t acknowledge. The kids aren’t all right…
Not that 'm a bar fly but I do have a load dive bar I hang in at times although I'm feeling as though I've "ages out" at 81 while most of the folks that hang out here are substantially younger than me. Phones and bar behavior are interesting to me and for those concerned, easily observable. First is the guy who isn't having sex with anyone. He comes in, sits on a bar stool, looks at he phone once and places it face down on the bar. He'll pick it up with each new beer, take a look and put it down. That's it. There are some older women who will exhibit the same behavior. They're usually in the 50's, not unattractive, but clearly sad. Then the 20 something girls come in ands at the bar. There is the one that never lets her phone leave her hand. Miss Popularity doesn't talk much but is constantly texting letting the other girls know that she has a multitude of friends that are not the people she's with. the others will look at their phones occasionally, smile, maybe send a brief text message and lay it down in the bar, face down. then there three or four 40s girls who'll grab a table, take out their bejeweled phones and rarely pick them up again preferring to drink as many margaritas in the shortest possible time. Then there is the lone girl whose boyfriend is the bartender. Her phone lays face down on the bar, but is rarely inspected for activity. There are many variations of these folks that I'm at a loss to describe but those with phones all have one thing common. They lack a large degree of control in their lives. They are dependent on others who may or may not text them. Those that come in and keep their phones in their pockets or hand bags, totes, etc. are having lots of sex and care less about others.
This is a really fascinating observation, Jim. Thank you for sharing this! Even when I'm out at a bar with friends, my phone use is something I have to be mindful of. It truly is addicting! But I'm noticing more and more that people in my friend group or similar types are interesting in having their phones away. I'm optimistic, at least.
It's the dopamine (reward hormone) and cortisol (alert hormone) spike from the blue light, combined with the magnetic field of the phone that magnetizes a brain (mostly iron on the cerebral cortex), creating a physical + mental addiction:
Yet we didn't seem to see anywhere near this sort of addictive behavior with the older flip phones (aka dumb phones) prior to 2010, even with all of the radiation they emitted.
It's quite a coincidence that suicide rates skyrocketed over 77% for 10 yr olds since 2009, ever since the launch of the iPhone with the self-facing camera and the simultaneous release of the like button.
The wireless radiation is also destroying children's brains (along with blue light):
(there have been over 10,000 independent studies showing harm from wireless radiation, yet ignored by US media as they only take into account how much the phone heats up skin tissue, and discount any non-thermal (biological) effect of dna damage.)
It is clear that smartphones (and the algorithm-driven apps that go with them) have a dark side, no doubt about that. For all ages. And unfortunately, there is no quick and easy ready-made solution to this collective action problem. At the same time, I will still caution the reader that we need to keep all of this in perspective and not work ourselves into a frenzied moral panic about it either.
Nice article and I’d like to add some data points.
I moved to Houston from Amsterdam with my husband around 2000, and joining exuberant gay life in the city we began hosting pool parties that summer. A Gay Naked Pool Party (tm) in Houston generally means a few key things: unlimited alcohol, few clothes if any, high temperature, plenty of barbecue, men in flagrante delectio.
Our backyard was completely private, yet in the center of the city (ok, a house with 4 priests had a view into the yard), heated pool, poolhouse with a top floor art studio, downstairs bathroom, sauna, bar, nearby house with three rooms, dressing room, two bathrooms… important to note lots of private books. From 2000-2009 from June to September off and on, as long as we didn’t have a deluge (and even with a deluge) we had some sort of event for anywhere from 50 to 100 guys, lasting 4pm to midnight. We generally had a bartender and catered food, so we could actually talk to guests.
We collected interesting people in the gay community, the usual ways gay men meet other gay men. Generally good looking or exceptional in some way, they came from the leather, daddy, muscle, bear, drag, twink, oil, geek, hung, police, porn, art, music or business community in the city so it was fairly mixed, famously so, invitations were in demand. Many long term relationships from unlikely pairs came from the event. There were a handful of strategic friends who always got naked immediately upon arriving which gave apparent permission to everyone else, and usually after the sun went down it became fairly, um, busy. The rules were no drugs, no smoking, and get a room if it gets hot and heavy.
We were not exceptional - If not at our house there was a naked pool party anywhere from Clear Lake to River Oaks to Sugarland to way out - Austin, Dallas, and points in between. Ordinary Texas summer Hospitality.
I had lots of observations of the perhaps a few thousand people we saw over that time - that many naked men, you see patterns. But that’s another story.
I took over the position of CEO of a research company Summer 2009, my husband taught at a local University (on break from adult films) and it all managed to soak up an enormous about of time, so pool parties were on hiatus during 2010 and part of 2011.
Starting back up in 2011, with the same men, same event structure, we noticed something odd. First, very few men got naked in the first few hours even though the usuals were naked. Naked gay men plus alcohol didn’t result in activity, it was hesitant, furtive, quiet. We went to some other parties, and same behavior. Ordinary “cage parties” (don’t even think about asking) in 2001 with some biker clubs disappeared.
Halloween, Easter, other events were fine, fully clothed and pleasant, just not… sex. Events started winking out of existence. Moving to San Francisco 2017 the private parties I remembered from years past… gone. We had a pool party at a friend’s house which could have been on HGTv instead of XTube - private ranch, giant pool, catered and… two naked men, or maybe four or six of sixty.
Today, I know of one monthly naked outdoor pool party in the Bay Area (you do not to want to go outdoors without clothing in the Bay Area in midsummer; you’ll freeze). Pool parties invites - sure, from San Jose to Sacramento, but… never naked and frisky.
2010 something changed, and it’s not specifically the phone… gay men go to events, but they don’t play anywhere’s near what they used to. Amsterdam? Most leather bars have naked play areas also, and half are closed - the oldest gay bars are closed - though a specific “Horsemen” (obvious metaphor) parties continue monthly. London? XXL and the other leather / parties are gone. Paris is comparatively shut down, Brussels, Berlin, Köln… quiet. Barcelona and Madrid, subdued. Melbourne seems shut down for naked parties, Sydney was always subdued.
The "people have said this about all media in the past" stuff bothers me because unique among all of them the Smart Phone made it easier to access social media and make a virtual reconstruction of "hanging out". Reading a book does not simulate the experience of having a conversation with a group of friends, nor does TV really. The phone does.
The screens ensured that day and night, people hear about “statistics proving that people today had more food, more clothes, better houses, better recreations—that they lived longer, worked shorter hours, were bigger, healthier, stronger, happier, more intelligent, better educated, than the people of fifty years ago.” - This was something that I read from a 1984 book analysis on the telescreen. I’ve been saying since 2018 ish, something is off. Perhaps it’s been longer, maybe it was more subtle I just didn’t acknowledge. The kids aren’t all right…
Not that 'm a bar fly but I do have a load dive bar I hang in at times although I'm feeling as though I've "ages out" at 81 while most of the folks that hang out here are substantially younger than me. Phones and bar behavior are interesting to me and for those concerned, easily observable. First is the guy who isn't having sex with anyone. He comes in, sits on a bar stool, looks at he phone once and places it face down on the bar. He'll pick it up with each new beer, take a look and put it down. That's it. There are some older women who will exhibit the same behavior. They're usually in the 50's, not unattractive, but clearly sad. Then the 20 something girls come in ands at the bar. There is the one that never lets her phone leave her hand. Miss Popularity doesn't talk much but is constantly texting letting the other girls know that she has a multitude of friends that are not the people she's with. the others will look at their phones occasionally, smile, maybe send a brief text message and lay it down in the bar, face down. then there three or four 40s girls who'll grab a table, take out their bejeweled phones and rarely pick them up again preferring to drink as many margaritas in the shortest possible time. Then there is the lone girl whose boyfriend is the bartender. Her phone lays face down on the bar, but is rarely inspected for activity. There are many variations of these folks that I'm at a loss to describe but those with phones all have one thing common. They lack a large degree of control in their lives. They are dependent on others who may or may not text them. Those that come in and keep their phones in their pockets or hand bags, totes, etc. are having lots of sex and care less about others.
This is a really fascinating observation, Jim. Thank you for sharing this! Even when I'm out at a bar with friends, my phone use is something I have to be mindful of. It truly is addicting! But I'm noticing more and more that people in my friend group or similar types are interesting in having their phones away. I'm optimistic, at least.
It's the dopamine (reward hormone) and cortisol (alert hormone) spike from the blue light, combined with the magnetic field of the phone that magnetizes a brain (mostly iron on the cerebral cortex), creating a physical + mental addiction:
https://romanshapoval.substack.com/p/the-1-emf-youve-forgotten-about
Yet we didn't seem to see anywhere near this sort of addictive behavior with the older flip phones (aka dumb phones) prior to 2010, even with all of the radiation they emitted.
Great read, hope to see more here!
It's quite a coincidence that suicide rates skyrocketed over 77% for 10 yr olds since 2009, ever since the launch of the iPhone with the self-facing camera and the simultaneous release of the like button.
The wireless radiation is also destroying children's brains (along with blue light):
https://romanshapoval.substack.com/p/techmyth
(there have been over 10,000 independent studies showing harm from wireless radiation, yet ignored by US media as they only take into account how much the phone heats up skin tissue, and discount any non-thermal (biological) effect of dna damage.)
It is clear that smartphones (and the algorithm-driven apps that go with them) have a dark side, no doubt about that. For all ages. And unfortunately, there is no quick and easy ready-made solution to this collective action problem. At the same time, I will still caution the reader that we need to keep all of this in perspective and not work ourselves into a frenzied moral panic about it either.
Nice article and I’d like to add some data points.
I moved to Houston from Amsterdam with my husband around 2000, and joining exuberant gay life in the city we began hosting pool parties that summer. A Gay Naked Pool Party (tm) in Houston generally means a few key things: unlimited alcohol, few clothes if any, high temperature, plenty of barbecue, men in flagrante delectio.
Our backyard was completely private, yet in the center of the city (ok, a house with 4 priests had a view into the yard), heated pool, poolhouse with a top floor art studio, downstairs bathroom, sauna, bar, nearby house with three rooms, dressing room, two bathrooms… important to note lots of private books. From 2000-2009 from June to September off and on, as long as we didn’t have a deluge (and even with a deluge) we had some sort of event for anywhere from 50 to 100 guys, lasting 4pm to midnight. We generally had a bartender and catered food, so we could actually talk to guests.
We collected interesting people in the gay community, the usual ways gay men meet other gay men. Generally good looking or exceptional in some way, they came from the leather, daddy, muscle, bear, drag, twink, oil, geek, hung, police, porn, art, music or business community in the city so it was fairly mixed, famously so, invitations were in demand. Many long term relationships from unlikely pairs came from the event. There were a handful of strategic friends who always got naked immediately upon arriving which gave apparent permission to everyone else, and usually after the sun went down it became fairly, um, busy. The rules were no drugs, no smoking, and get a room if it gets hot and heavy.
We were not exceptional - If not at our house there was a naked pool party anywhere from Clear Lake to River Oaks to Sugarland to way out - Austin, Dallas, and points in between. Ordinary Texas summer Hospitality.
I had lots of observations of the perhaps a few thousand people we saw over that time - that many naked men, you see patterns. But that’s another story.
I took over the position of CEO of a research company Summer 2009, my husband taught at a local University (on break from adult films) and it all managed to soak up an enormous about of time, so pool parties were on hiatus during 2010 and part of 2011.
Starting back up in 2011, with the same men, same event structure, we noticed something odd. First, very few men got naked in the first few hours even though the usuals were naked. Naked gay men plus alcohol didn’t result in activity, it was hesitant, furtive, quiet. We went to some other parties, and same behavior. Ordinary “cage parties” (don’t even think about asking) in 2001 with some biker clubs disappeared.
Halloween, Easter, other events were fine, fully clothed and pleasant, just not… sex. Events started winking out of existence. Moving to San Francisco 2017 the private parties I remembered from years past… gone. We had a pool party at a friend’s house which could have been on HGTv instead of XTube - private ranch, giant pool, catered and… two naked men, or maybe four or six of sixty.
Today, I know of one monthly naked outdoor pool party in the Bay Area (you do not to want to go outdoors without clothing in the Bay Area in midsummer; you’ll freeze). Pool parties invites - sure, from San Jose to Sacramento, but… never naked and frisky.
2010 something changed, and it’s not specifically the phone… gay men go to events, but they don’t play anywhere’s near what they used to. Amsterdam? Most leather bars have naked play areas also, and half are closed - the oldest gay bars are closed - though a specific “Horsemen” (obvious metaphor) parties continue monthly. London? XXL and the other leather / parties are gone. Paris is comparatively shut down, Brussels, Berlin, Köln… quiet. Barcelona and Madrid, subdued. Melbourne seems shut down for naked parties, Sydney was always subdued.
Perplexing.